Is depression a flaw in love?

As creatures of love, we inherently long to love and be loved. To be loved by that special someone and reciprocating with your undivided attention, or affection for a special cause forms a pillar in our life and can make our existence meaningful.

This longing if not satisfied can be a source of weariness that has the potential to affect the quality of our life. And unfortunately, unrequited love doesn’t die, it’s only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. Federico Garcia Lorca rightly put it this way, “to burn with desire and keep quiet about it is the greatest punishment we can bring on ourselves”.

In his book, the noonday demon, Andrew Solomon writes, “Depression is the flaw in love. To be creatures who love, we must be creatures who can despair at what we lose, and depression is the mechanism of that despair.” Isn’t it amazing how everything becomes easy and tolerable when it is something we love to do and how we overlook the imperfections of someone we love? Sigmund Freud, the father of the psychoanalytic theory of depression, in explaining the cause of depression described it as an unconscious conflict between human instincts and the human conscious. And in other to avoid such potentially damaging conflicts, there is the need to develop defence mechanisms.

Although love may not be protective against depression, it cushions the mind and protects it from itself. This love may be directed to self, work, God or anything of interest. These passions can furnish the vital sense of purpose which is the opposite of depression.

 

Identify your object or being of love and when you do, let us know how your relationship developed and progressed. Others will be interested to know how you did it. Send us an email at tok2someone@gmail.com.